Antagonistic Relationships Affect Our Relationships with Food - Part 1

Hoh Rainforest, Washington

A word about terms like narcissist and antagonistic. We use the term narcissist here as a common term used in popular culture, not a medical term. The words “narcissism” and “antagonism” are meant here to describe toxic relationships, specifically relationships that feel awful. It’s not meant to diagnose or target anyone specific. This is information to explore the connection between our relationships, our eating habits, the way we live, and ultimately, how we feel.  

Relationships can shape our experiences and can even change the way we feel about everything around us. Toxic relationships can be a destructive force, lowering the quality of our lives, and devastating our health.  When relationships are healthy, they bring joy to our lives and inspire us. When relationships are antagonistic or toxic, it can be devastating. The bottom line is, who we spend time with deeply affects our health. 

Growing up with narcissistic or antagonistic family dynamics often distorts our view of things and how we see ourselves. This is especially true if the antagonists were our parents. The judgment, insults, and confused chaos can be overwhelming. Family is supposed to be nurturing. Family is where we form our views of what is good to eat. Anxiety, devastation, confusion, and extreme self doubt can be the result of growing up with narcissists. It can be very traumatic. They can create havoc in our lives for years, even decades. Studies have shown that people with eating disorders are extremely likely to have experienced trauma.

For people who have been in a romantic relationship with an antagonist, it can be just as devastating and traumatic as a family relationship. They can make us feel scrutinized. Everything from the tiniest details to vague generalities can be used against us by an antagonistic person. The way we cook, the way we eat, the fit of our clothes, our weight and details about our looks can be under the merciless glare of the narcissist. Eating under pressure to please others is harmful to body and mind. Anyone who has had someone close to them get involved in a toxic relationship or who has been in one themselves can attest to the ways antagonistic relationships affect us.

An antagonistic, narcissistic relationship can be very tricky. It can be almost impossible to talk about. It’s not uncommon to have trouble describing what’s wrong with what they say or do. It’s often a generally bad feeling when you’re with the antagonist. Sketchy, hard to describe behavior of antagonists can be some of the worst parts of dealing with toxic relationships. It can lead to isolation, and insecurity, which only makes the confusion, self doubts, and trauma worse. 

Toxic relationships can be traumatic and can lead to stress and disordered eating habits. Food is often part of coping. Age is not a predictor of relationship issues, food stress or disordered eating. Food issues, like relationship issues, can come up at any age. 

You deserve to nourish yourself without anyone else’s permission, consent, or approval. Healthy food is a nourishing gift to give our body, and in return we feel strong, satisfied, and self-reliant. 

Resources

https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/eating-disorders-and-midlife-and-beyond/

https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/eating-disorders-and-trauma/ 

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/710202/its-not-you-by-ramani-durvasula-phd/