Your Dietary Needs Deserve Respect. How antagonistic people affect our eating - Part 2

Oregon

A word about terms like narcissist and antagonistic. We use the term narcissist here as a common term used in popular culture, not a medical term. The words “narcissism” and “antagonism” are meant here to describe toxic relationships, specifically relationships that feel awful. It’s not meant to diagnose or target anyone specific. This is information to explore the connection between our relationships, our eating habits, the way we live, and ultimately, how we feel.

Most of us have, or will have, dietary restrictions at some point. We’re either following doctor’s orders, we have issues like lactose intolerance, or we’re just trying to eat healthier. Dealing with specific diet needs can be daunting and it’s not easy in the fast food culture we live in. Ideally, the people around us are a source of support when planning meals and grocery shopping for specific foods. 

Sometimes the people in our lives are less than helpful when it comes to changing food habits. Sometimes, they can even be the root cause of pain that leads to unhealthy eating in the first place. Even our most trusted loved ones can behave judgmentally or truly antagonistically toward us. It can be intimidating to assert our needs to people who, not only don’t get it, but who actively want to shame you. It’s not unusual for some people, who’ve eaten the same way all their lives, to smirk at us when we want to change things up. Sometimes there’s no avoiding the mocking and the jokes that aren’t funny. 

Here’s some tough love for you. Sometimes it comes down to the hard choices of who you want to surround yourself with. Those who support you, or those who don’t. If you feel uncomfortable talking about your dietary needs, it may not just be about your diet. There could be deeper issues with your relationship that need to be addressed. 

Hoh Rainforest

Antagonism is not always obvious and the toxic behavior can be very hard to describe to outsiders who haven’t experienced these kinds of relationships. Maybe it was a facial expression, lack of eye contact, or uncomfortable eye contact, or something about their body language. Something or a series of things that doesn’t feel right and you just can’t put your finger on it. Conversations with antagonistic people can leave us feeling agitated, exhausted, nervous, sad, or detached from the situation. Which is the exact opposite of support and the last thing we need when we’re trying to get healthier. If talking about your dietary needs feels stressful, trust your instincts. 

Antagonistic people will often test you to try and see if they can get you to break your diet. It really has nothing to do with food or you. It’s ultimately about control for them. It can be hard to deny a persistent narcissist and we may fall back into old unhealthy eating habits. The result can leave us doubting ourselves and distrusting our willpower. But it’s not about willpower.

Antagonistic or narcissistic behavior can be confusing, even rude, sometimes disguised as jokes. We may even wonder if we’re being too sensitive about it all. You’re not being too sensitive. If you feel that you're being talked down to, belittled or disregarded on a regular basis it’s not because you somehow deserve it. You deserve better.

Dietary changes are challenging even under the best circumstances. If eating healthy all the time was easy, everyone would do it. It’s very common for people who have survived narcissistic or antagonistic relationships to have some form of disordered eating or unhealthy relationships with food. It’s not you and you’re not alone. Relationships, like food, can help nourish us or weaken us. 

Dietary needs are just that. Needs. And they aren’t negotiable, they’re not our fault and not a weakness. It’s a strength to come up with a healthy eating plan and follow it through. If your needs are not being supported by people around you, maybe it’s time to let go and/or get the support you need. If your eating habits are not giving you energy and strength, maybe it’s time to let go of the old ways and try something new. Whether it’s food or relationships, you deserve a life filled with good food and good company.

If you’re ready to make changes, check out our Goal Setting Course.